This just happened to me.

You know how it goes… I’m politely minding my own business with the laptop on the sofa.. clicking “like” on Facebook and seeing what my friends are up to. Then I realize it’s time for lunch and I set the laptop aside when suddenly the paralyzing fear hit me. There’s a spider!!! And no one is home to help!!!! The size of the one on the floor directly in front of me is exceeding the size of my comfort level range. Yes, my feet are on the sofa. Makes me think of that picture of the Great Dane standing on the kitchen counters… “I saw a spider!! Is it gone yet???” It’s not moving….. I’m not moving… erg.. so creepy!

I don’t have anything to kill it with. And it’s blocking my path to get anywhere else in the house. I’m trapped on the sofa. What on earth is it doing? It’s just sitting there… like it’s plotting how to attack me or something. HEEBIEJEEBIES

This one isn’t that big, but my “comfort level size range” is pretty small. It doesn’t take much for a spider to be big enough to scare me. Yes, I realize this is one of my irrational fears, but it’s my fear and just about everyone has one, so I don’t want to hear any teasing from anyone.

I need to kill it! But with what? I did mention that I’m trapped on the sofa, right?? This is serious!!! I have a plastic plate I can toss at it, but if it runs and I can’t see where it goes, then I’m really going to freak out.

Take a deep breath… you can do this… BLEH!!! I MISSED!!! It only ran a little then stopped. Now Kona is after it! OMG she’s my hero!! She disabled it enough that now I can deal with it. I drop the translucent plate on it again. I can see the spider through the plate trying to scramble and find its way out, so I punch the top of the plate. But not too hard. I don’t want spider guts on my freshly shampooed carpet.

It’s dead. It’s furry. Spiders in Indiana should NOT be furry. BLEH bleh bleh bleh bleh!!!!!

And now I’m stuck thinking…. for the one spider I could actually SEE in my house…..how many more are there that I cannot see???????

When Kona went after the spider, I told her what a good girl she was .. it sounded like this: Get it! GET IT!! GETITGETITGETIT!!! Yeah!!! Good girl!!!!!

Oh but let’s be honest for a moment. It wasn’t originally the spider that Kona was after.. no… it was the plate on the floor and the potential that there may still be crumbs of food on it. But once she saw the spider move, then her prey drive kicked in. Thank God. Best. Dog. Ever.

How big was the spider? I told you it’s an irrational fear. It was huge.. like.. the size of a dime or something. Maybe. If he spread his legs out all the way and was flat to the floor. Huge.

This has been adapted from the actual account of the events as chronicled on Facebook. I was terrified. You can laugh at me, just don’t tease me. Everyone has their phobias!

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